Emotions
I wondered what it would be like to see someone commit suicide. To try to understand the ultimate form of giving up. To give up on life. I can honestly say that tonight Sheena has given up on a life with me and has commit emotional suicide. The simple questions that are asked are met with simple evasive actions. When asked for an example of her caring I got nothing. Nothing but a No. A reply of her saying ”You remember everything.” But if anything I would remember that she cared enough to have examples or evidences that she has actually cared about my feelings, my emotions before she has done and said things full of hateful venom. I told her that sometimes saying nothing at all can say it all. She said, I know. I said you just gone let love die, you don’t care enough to give evidence that you care? and i got the same reply. These moments are what makes my writing so vital to life. This is why 808s is deeper than auto tune and bitching. A live show from 808s is full of emotion. And every song can only be remembered by the time in your life when you went through that event. What sucks is I have been through this emotion more than once. Looking back at our relationship I find that it wasnt worth it. I would have rather gone through the fights and arguing with someone more worth it. This has left me so emotionally drained that I cant see us being friends. The disrespect I have taken from her, the women of my dreams is unreal. The dream of us for ever seemed to have turned into a nightmare that would never end. How does it go there, how do you become hurt so to the point where, while she has given up you feel like she was never there to have held on in the first place. Whether we become friends get back together or never speak, or even if she reads this or not this will be published and hopefully it translate the emotion I feel. Whats crazy is during the middle of the conversation I began to stop and quote sing lyrics that seem to fit our relationship, Big Sean’s Crazy, to Heartless by Kanye. But what thing that struck me as I was singing the chorus is,for her not to care about my feelings or emotions truly is the evident of me losing my soul to a women so heartless.
